When I left the Philippines in 1989, I resolved to return to fight for all those poor schoolchildren who with their parents made great sacrifices each day just so they could attend school. Every time I get discouraged by the seeming indifference of the masses and the deadly cynicism of those in positions of power, all I do is visit a schoolroom and I look at the eager eyes of all those little children and I know that I must do something about the terrible situation we find ourselves in.

All those years abroad however made me conscious about a whole new class of Filipinos who tolerated 18 hour work-days, overt sexual harassment, bitter discrimination, and above all dehumanizing loneliness. All over the world, I became aware of maids making $125 a month and sending $100 back to the families they left behind. Meanwhile, how many families were permanently torn apart with this arrangement?

Economic institutions claim that the Philippine economy is rapidly growing. Granted that next to China, India and even Vietnam our economic growth can be classified as picayune our nation notwithstanding is still growing. What bothers me is that the architects of government assert that all this growth is the result of their planning and wisdom. Nothing can be further from the truth. Whatever demonstrable growth we see is mostly from the combined sacrifices that all these Filipinos overseas make daily.

And yet the moment we return "home", we are met by corrupt customs and immigration officials at the airport. Beady-eyed porters and taxi drivers can't wait to take advantage of us. Our license to drive abroad is not good enough and we have to begin as "student drivers" once again (pending a donation). My license to practice medicine in the US was not good enough either even if I had passed the Philippine medical boards many years ago (again, to skip all the scatological hurdles, money had to change hands). The overseas Filipino is called the "new hero", and rightly so. But no hero is ever appreciated in his own country.

I have a gnawing dread inside that tells me it will take more than billions of dollars in remittances to right this almost totally corrupt society of ours. This is something we cannot redeem with money alone. It will take much more than treasure. This is a dream that demands much more serious commitment.

The Supreme Court just announced that it was not buying into the argument that there was a groundswell of support among the Filipinos for charter change. Hopefully, this will establish once and for all that elections will be held, as scheduled on May 2007.

This development is an important one because if this initiative to alter the constitution had passed then party list representation would have been modified. I am seriously mulling a run to represent the millions of overseas Filipinos who do not have a single representative in the present congress. Party list representation was established to give an opportunity for perennially under-represented sectors of society to participate in the political processes of the country.

Tomorrow is Eid’l Fitr, last day of Ramadan, a public holiday meaning no school, no banks, no work for government employees. Next week, the whole country will once again stop for "All Saints Day". We observe a lot of holidays here. Compared to Americans, we work far less hours per week.

I don't have anything against marking special occasions but once we start staying home for all these important dates, productivity suffers. Investors will find it more difficult to conduct business because there are no government agencies to process permits and documents, the banks are unable to perform transactions, the stock exchange is closed.

If we want to do some catching-up and everyone knows we have a long long way to go, we need to take a collective deep breath and begin foregoing these frequent celebrations.

These days, all I can do is wait for the Supreme Court to decide on whether the Constitution needs to be changed or not. In the five months that I have been home, I have tried to discern how best I can serve my country, how best I can give back. As usual, politics is rendering this desire to help difficult because if the May 2007 elections are postponed then I will have to rethink everything once again. Meanwhile, all my immediate plans are on hold.

Not being affiliated with any of the established traditional political parties makes this such a long shot already and all this uncertainty only exacerbates the situation for non-traditional newcomers even further.

I never imagined that this struggle was going to be an easy one. There is so much at stake for all the innumerable politicians and their relatives who depend on politics for their livelihoods. They will not cede anything without a fight.

All this gloomy talk about the Philippines losing an entire generation of physicians, nurses, teachers and all the other motivated citizens who needed to leave their native land in order to give their families a better life would be rendered moot if we could only make our country a better place for a fraction of these emigrants to return.

Just think of what even one percent of the10 million Filipinos abroad could contribute if they chose to come back. Remember, these are people who have experienced the loneliness, uncertainty and fear that only living alone in a strange place will bring. This is one life-changing experience that does wonders in strengthening character. It stimulates industry and imagination. It forces one to appreciate what is routinely taken for granted and it makes us see clearer what can be improved on the societies we left behind. Nothing better to fire-up motivation than being a foreigner all alone.